We Need to Talk About Stanley
by VioletHeart3899
Summary: Ford has just offered Dipper the opportunity of a lifetime. But Dipper has a few questions first. Things escalate quickly from there. Rated T for brief language.


" . . . And I think I'd . . . I'd like to keep it in the family."

Dipper dropped the alien plate he'd been examining. " . . . What are you saying?"

"I've read your additions to my journal and I'm impressed with your potential," Ford explained. "What would you say to staying in Gravity Falls after the summer ends and becoming my apprentice?"

Dipper could practically hear his heart racing. "But what about school?"

Ford chuckled. "Dipper, I have twelve PhDs. Your parents would be thrilled I could give you such an advanced education."

It almost sounded too good to be true, like Dipper's greatest fantasy made real. But . . .

"There's also Mabel," he sighed. "She'd be all alone in California."

"Mabel will be fine. She has a magnetic personality." Ford smiled. "I watched her become pen pals with the pizza delivery man in the sixty seconds he was at the door!"

"Yeah, but still, she loves Gravity Falls just as much as I do. It just . . . doesn't really seem fair to leave her home alone while I stay here with you and Grunkle Stan."

Ford's smile disappeared.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Ford said.

 _Shit,_ Ford thought. The kids didn't know about the . . . the _discussion_ he and Stanley had the night he came back.

"Are you sure?" Dipper asked. "As soon as I mentioned Grunkle Stan you looked . . . I mean, I know you guys aren't on the best terms right now, but still . . . " He looked up at his great-uncle with concern. "Is everything alright?"

Ford's mind raced, his thoughts swirling chaotically as he scrambled for an excuse, some way he could stretch the truth to explain to Dipper—

 _"From now on, no more secrets between us."_

His own promise nagged at him, and he sighed. "Dipper, the truth is . . . Stanley isn't going to be here after the summer."

"What?"

Dipper's eyes widened. "Why not? What about the Mystery Shack?"

"Dipper, he's been at it for thirty years now. I—we were talking—don't you think he could use a break?"

"But he didn't say anything to Mabel and I. Why wouldn't he tell us?"

"Probably didn't want to upset you kids. Besides, this wouldn't be the first time he's kept a secret from the two of you, would it?"

A knife seemed to dig into Dipper as he remembered the portal. "Well, no . . . but he never acted like he was thinking of retiring. What's he gonna do now? Where will he go?"

"I don't know what Stanley's plans are, and frankly they don't concern me. Now come on, we have to find the adhesive."

He turned away quickly and busied himself searching the rest of the control room. After several minutes he picked up a metal plate off the floor, only to find another one stuck to it.

"This could be it!" He tried to pull them apart. "Dipper, could you give me a hand over here?" Before Dipper could respond, Ford had another idea. He pulled out the magnet gun and used it to pull the plates apart, revealing an otherworldly pink substance between them.

"Haha, yes! We've done it, Dipper! Now we can seal—"

"You threw him out."

Ford looked behind him. "What?"

Dipper hadn't moved from where Ford had left him moments before. "The deed to the Shack has _your_ name on it, not Stan's . . . " Something in his voice hardened. "You're throwing him out of the house, aren't you?"

Ford froze. "Dipper, please, this isn't important right—"

"Answer the question, Great-Uncle Ford."

He'd never seen Dipper like this before. He tried to think of something to say, but Dipper had already taken his silence as an answer.

 _"Are you kidding me?_ After everything Stan did for you, _this_ is how you thank him?"

"Dipper, you don't understand—"

"No, _you_ don't understand, Great-Uncle Ford! He spent thirty years working on that portal to bring you back—"

"Well no one asked him to!" Ford snapped. "In fact if he'd just paid attention to my warnings and left it alone we wouldn't be in this situation—"

"Oh! So now you're saying that the Rift is his fault?"

"Of course it is, Dipper! He could've destroyed the universe!"

"But he didn't!" Dipper's fists were clenched. "We're still fine, the universe is fine, but you just can't let go of your anger—"

 _"Now see here!"_ Ford leaned forward. "Do you know what it's like to have forty years' worth of grievances with someone? That's not something that can just be 'let go'—"

"Well how should I know?" Dipper spat. "Mabel and I haven't turned stupid like the two of you . . . "

He trailed off as a horrible thought struck him. "That's why you want me to stay, isn't it? You're trying to tear Mabel and I apart!"

"What?!" Ford stepped back in shock. "That's preposterous! Why on Earth—"

"Because you're jealous!"

 _"Jealous?"_

"You're jealous that Mabel and I are still so close when you and Grunkle Stan can't even get your _shit_ together—"

 _"SHUT UP!"_

An alarm started blaring as Ford's shout echoed through the ship.

"What's that?!" Dipper's anger faded instantly.

Ford swore under his breath. "We reactivated the security system!"

"But you said everything here was dead!"

"Everything organic is!"

A pair of giant glass spheres appeared menacingly from the darkness.

"W-what do we do?"

"Calm down," Ford whispered. "Just back away slowly . . . " He held out the magnet gun.

"Listen to me very carefully, Dipper. I've studied these security droids. They detect adrenaline. You simply have to not feel any fear and they won't see you."

 _"What?!"_

"It's okay, I've done it before. Just take a deep breath, focus on your intellect—"

 _ **"You and Grunkle Stan can't even get your shit together!"**_

 _Focus on your intellect . . ._

 ** _"He spent thirty years working on that portal to bring you back . . . After everything Stan did for you, this is how you thank him?"_**

The gun shook in Ford's hands. He could feel his heart rate steadily increasing. So much for focus.

"Get down."

"What?"

 _"GET DOWN!"_ He jumped just in time to push Dipper away from the droid's blast. He shot one droid down, only for the other to return fire and hit him in the shoulder.

Ford stumbled back with a yell. He lied stunned on the floor until he felt cables wrapping around him. "What? No! _NO!"_

"Great-Uncle Ford!"

 _"Stay back!_ " The droid was pulling him in. He grabbed the Rift and the adhesive from his coat and slid them across the floor to Dipper. "Sealing the Rift is what's important now! You'll have to do it without me! Save the universe, Dipper!" With that, the pod closed around him and took off.

Ford rolled over and leaned back against the glass. Now that Dipper wasn't around, his brave facade crumbled. He hugged his knees to his chest and tried to stop hyperventilating.

He'd been an idiot. He'd told Dipper to stay calm and control his thoughts, yet he couldn't even follow his own orders. And why? He'd stared down these droids countless times before, but this time . . . this time he was distracted. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about the fight . . . what Dipper had said about him and Stanley . . .

He entered a room filled with miniature flying saucers. These were automated prison droids. As the pod merged with one, he knew that wherever this thing took him, he wasn't coming back. And . . . he'd never see Stanley again.

 _Serves him right for putting the universe at stake._ Yet he couldn't shake off the pang of sadness that came with that realization until a _THUNK_ roused him from his thoughts.

Ford turned around. Dipper was clinging to the magnet gun, stuck to the side of the droid.

 _"Dipper!_ What are you doing?! It's too dangerous—"

The droid launched out of the ship. The momentum threw Ford backwards, and everything went black.

* * *

Something was dragging him. That was the first sensation to register as he slowly came back into consciousness. Instinct told him to resist, but everything ached too much.

Suddenly he stopped moving. He could barely make out a whirring noise overhead.

"Hey! Uh, I'm warning you, I've got a magnet gun!"

Was that . . . Dipper? He tried to open his eyes, but could only manage a slight face twitch.

 _"Oh yeah?!_ You think you can scare me? Do your worst! Nothing in this universe is gonna take away my uncle! So go ahead, GIVE ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT!"

At last Ford's eyes fluttered open. He was in the woods now. He heard a crash behind him and started to sit up, only to break into a coughing fit.

"Grunkle Ford!" Dipper ran to his side. "Are you okay?"

"You brought down the droids." Ford looked around. "You . . . you saved me."

"Grunkle Ford, I—I'm sorry." Dipper's voice wavered. "The fight, everything that happened down there, I'm so sorry!"

"Dipper, it's quite alright . . . "

"No it's not! It's my fault you got captured! The security wouldn't have been set off if I hadn't made you mad. If I hadn't managed to save you, after everything I said, you . . . you would've hated me!" He threw his arms around Ford and started sobbing into his uncle's shoulder.

"Dipper . . . I could never hate you, my boy." He rubbed Dipper's back, trying to soothe him. "Honestly, after our last exchange, I'd have expected you to hate _me_ . . . and, I wouldn't have blamed you for letting the droid take me, either."

"Are you kidding me? I could never forgive myself if that happened. Not to mention Grunkle Stan . . . " Dipper hugged him tighter. "You're _family,_ Grunkle Ford, and I could never let anything happen to you. No matter what."

The embrace hurt the side of Ford's chest—he'd definitely broken a rib in the crash—but he didn't care. He hadn't had a hug in forever, and he hugged his nephew back.

"I'm sorry too, Dipper. You were right down there . . . I shouldn't have lost control of my anger."

"It's okay." Dipper sniffed and stood up. "We should probably get back to the Shack. We've got a Rift to mend."

"Quite right." As Dipper helped him to his feet, Ford's thoughts turned to Stanley again.

 _. . . Quite right indeed._


End file.
